After 34 years of marriage, you’d think I’d have it all figured out, right? Well, the truth is, that marriage is always a work in progress.
It’s a journey filled with love, laughter, and plenty of “Did that just happen?” moments. Over the years, I’ve learned some valuable lessons that have kept our relationship strong—and most importantly, kept us laughing along the way. Here are five of them:
1. Communication Is Key (Even When It’s Hard)
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that communication is the foundation of everything. Whether it’s discussing serious decisions or just figuring out what we want for dinner, talking things through makes all the difference. Of course, not every conversation goes perfectly—especially when we’re both tired or distracted. But we’ve learned that staying honest, even when it’s uncomfortable, helps us avoid misunderstandings later.
I used to think, “He’s my husband—he should just know what I want!” Like when he’d go to the store and come back without grabbing me a candy bar, a snack, or anything, and I’d get all ticked off. Meanwhile, he’d be completely clueless about why I was upset. Of course, he didn’t know—because, surprise, he can’t read my mind!
So, I started doing something revolutionary: I actually asked. Now I just say, “Hey, can you grab me a small bag of plain chips?” And guess what? He comes home with exactly what I asked for… well, most of the time. 🤣
2. Pick Your Battles
Early on, I thought everything had to be resolved right then and there. Over time, I realized that not every disagreement needs a grand solution. Some things are just better left alone, especially the little quirks that make your partner unique. These days, I remind myself that a bit of patience (and maybe a deep breath) goes a long way.
I realized pretty early on that my husband has OCD. If the TV gets moved even a millimeter, he notices instantly—like he has some kind of built-in laser-level vision. At first, it drove me crazy. I’d get so aggravated watching him fuss over things being “just so.”
But over time, I learned to pick my battles. Now, instead of arguing or rolling my eyes, I just smile and let him feel all the feelings about the slightly shifted TV. Honestly, it’s easier on both of us, and I’ve officially retired from having conversations about things like the “correct” angle of the remote control. Or how the toilet paper goes on the spool. He can have those wins. 😂
3. Laughter Is the Best Medicine
Life throws curveballs, and sometimes all you can do is laugh. Over the years, we’ve turned countless mishaps into memories—whether it was a home improvement project gone sideways or a silly argument over whose turn it was to feed the dogs. Laughter has been our glue, especially during the tough times.
If there’s one thing my hubby and I excel at, it’s laughing together. And trust me, we’ve had plenty of reasons to! Like the time we first moved into this house and the bathroom floor was down to the joists. He was determined to get in there and clean up the sawdust, and I kept saying, “No, you’re going to fall!”
Did he listen? Of course not. Next thing I know, boom—he fell right through the bathroom floor and into my kitchen ceiling like some kind of DIY action hero. Once I knew he wasn’t seriously hurt, we absolutely lost it. Tears were streaming down our faces from laughing so hard. There wasn’t even an “I told you so” moment; it was pure, unfiltered hilarity. And to this day, every time I see that spot in the kitchen, I can’t help but smile.
4. It’s a Partnership, Not a Competition
Marriage isn’t about keeping score; it’s about working as a team. When one of us struggles, the other steps up. We’ve learned that balancing each other’s strengths and weaknesses makes us stronger together. And yes, that includes navigating DIY projects where I read the instructions, and the hubby bless his heart…well, doesn’t.
Over the years, we’ve learned that as a team, we each have our strengths—and leaning into those makes life so much easier. For example, he’s great at figuring out and organizing what needs to be done, while I’m the one who dives in and actually does it. He’s the “big picture” guy, and I’m the “let’s grab a mop and make it happen” gal.
When it comes to finances, he’s the bill-paying, penny-pinching mastermind, while I’ve mastered the art of stretching a small budget to its absolute limit. Give me $100, and I’ll turn it into a week’s worth of dinners, a cute décor piece, and maybe even a snack for myself—because priorities. 🤣
We’ve learned to balance each other out, focusing on what we bring to the table rather than what we lack. Instead of griping about each other’s downfalls (because trust me, we’ve got plenty), we lean on each other’s strengths. It’s teamwork at its finest—like a seesaw where neither of us is left hanging in the air too long!
5. Never Stop Learning About Each Other
Even after decades together, there are still moments when Greg surprises me. People grow and change, and marriage means growing with them. Staying curious about each other keeps the relationship fresh, even after 34 years.
I’ve always taken on homeschooling the kids myself, and while my husband always said he wanted to help, I just couldn’t picture how it would work. Honestly, shame on me for underestimating him—because it turns out he’s amazing at teaching math and history!
This experience taught me an important lesson: sometimes you need to step back and give your partner the space to show you what they’re capable of. Your best friend in life might surprise you, but you’ll never know unless you let them. Marriage is as much about growing together as it is about learning from each other, and Greg reminded me that even after all these years, there’s still more to discover about him.
Final Thoughts
Marriage is a beautiful mix of love, effort, and a whole lot of humor. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but learning to laugh together, embrace each other’s quirks, and stick by each other makes all the difference. Here’s to 34 years of lessons and laughter—and many more to come!
What lessons have you learned from your own relationships? I’d love to hear them in the comments.
Love, ❤️
Mrs. G
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